Why Women Struggle to Receive

Learning to receive with an open heart in my queendom era

Why women struggle to receive (and how to open the door)…

My work is all about self-worth: knowing your worth, knowing who you are, stepping into it. Knowing what you’re not willing to put up with and what you deserve.

I work in the field of desires, dreams and needs - sometimes its a glimmer or a gentle nudge, other times it’s like being hit by a truck (which has actually happened to me.) 

We are experiencing a calling of the feminine in many areas of our world, work and lives - seeking ways to take off our masks and personas safely, so we can breathe and regulate. This is the work many of us are doing right now.

But here’s what’s coming up strongly for me: the inability of women to receive fully.

This is something I really struggle with.

Because I want to be strong. I want to be powerful. I want to be creative, manifesting, out in the world, contributing and serving. Yet somewhere along the way, receiving has become tangled with shame, guilt, and a fear of being seen as “not enough.”

The hidden block: A negative association with receiving

When I boil it all down, I think it comes down to this: a negative association with receiving.

Even in my personal life, when I’m manifesting things like a car or other opportunities; they come, but not always in the way I expect. I want to walk into the dealership and say, “I’m buying that car. I’ve earned it. I deserve it.”

And I do deserve it. But somewhere in my head, it’s all messed up.

I think it goes back to childhood messages like:

• “Be a good girl, then you’re worthy.”

• “You have to earn your place.”

• “You must prove you’re enough.”

But “enough” is actually a lower bar than “worthy.” Enough says, “I am enough in myself.” Worthy says, “I am deserving of good things, support, and abundance - just because I exist.”

The Queen on the throne

Think of a queen. She sits on a throne. Yes, she does a lot of work behind the scenes but she is also served. She has people helping her with all sorts of things because her focus is elsewhere. She’s leading, but from a different place.

If we’re caught up in “service leadership” and can’t allow ourselves to receive support, help, or what we might need, it starts to feel shameful. Guilty. Like we’re not worthy because we haven’t been out there grafting, earning, and creating.

There’s an ego piece in there too: I need to be seen as the person who does everything herself. So we wear the outward mask:

“I’m the considerate helper. I do good work. I’ve got it all together.”

But the essence of receiving is this: you don’t have to do anything to receive. It’s about taking in. It’s about letting things come in and celebrating that.

That sounds beautiful on paper. But in practice? It’s hard.

Why this matters now…

I feel like this is where I’ve arrived. And I sense it’s the same for many of the women I work with.

We’re getting older. We don’t have the same energy levels we once did, but we have deeper wisdom. We want to be part of the world, contributing, safeguarding our retirement, living the life we want. We’ve worked hard all our lives up to this point.

Now the question is: where do we/I go from here?

How do we/I move forward in a way that feels appropriate for us now, knowing that we are of value - always have been, but in a different phase?

How do we/I bring all that together and allow ourselves to receive?

Because if we can’t receive openly, with an open heart and open arms, then it’s like the universe says, “Oh, she doesn’t want it,” and the flow stops.

That block then manifests in different places: in business, in relationships, in health, in abundance.

The Invitation: Receiving as strength, not weakness

What’s coming up for me now is this: the willingness, each day, to be open and receptive - not as weakness, but as discernment.

There’s a discernment piece in there, even if I don’t yet have the perfect word for it.

But the essence is this:

• To allow support.

• To let good things in.

• To stop equating receiving with laziness or unworthiness.

• To remember that receiving is part of the cycle of abundance.

If you’re reading this and feeling that tug in your chest, you’re not alone.

This week, I invite you to ask yourself:

• Where am I blocking receipt?

• What story am I telling myself about what I have to do to deserve?

• What would it feel like to let something good come in… and just say thank you?

Because the universe is trying to give to us. Things we need. Opportunities, support, love, rest.

But if we can’t receive it freely, it’s like saying, “No thank you,” to our own expansion.

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If you’d like to go deeper and work with me, send me a message: I run group courses, host 1-2-1 sessions or you can download my new Menopause First Aid course - Peri-Menopause Power.