Guilt & dreams

My love for D&G remains, yet my inner world is changing

Guilt, dreams and stepping into my 50s…

I’m approaching 50, and as I look ahead to this next decade, I’ve hit a few emotional and practical obstacles.

My 40s were full: motherhood, marriage, becoming a dog mum, and rediscovering work that reflects my values. I also said goodbye to the 30‑something party girl version of myself. It was a decade of change, responsibility, and reconnection.

Now, I find myself asking new questions:

• What does it mean to be 50 today?

• Who am I now?

• And what do I truly want next?

As I’ve started to explore possible answers, my inner critic - the practical, cautious part of me, has had a lot to say.

“That’s too different.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Don’t be selfish.”

Each idea or dream feels like a daring act. And as soon as I start to picture it, emotions like guilt and shame rise up like vipers: You’re a mum, you can’t take time for yourself!

But when I slow down, breathe, and listen to my intuition, another truth emerges. Taking time for me isn’t selfish - it’s essential.

I can see myself now, sitting alone at a little table in Italy, wearing a floaty “fufu” dress - likely to be Dolce & Gabana, twirling pasta on my fork. Not because I want to escape my life (I don’t), but because I want to reconnect with who I am - beyond roles and responsibilities.

Captivated by a birthday wish that includes pasta

I want to delight in pasta, even if it bloats me. Who cares? Life is for living.

Right now, I’m not rushing to make plans. I’m content to dream - to let the vision take shape in its own time. When the desire becomes strong enough, I know I’ll act.

My message to you is this: no matter your age, you need space and time to dream, to sit with uncomfortable questions, and to reconnect with your heart’s desires.

If guilt appears while you’re doing this, take it as a signpost - not that you’re wrong, but that what you’re thinking about truly matters. We’ve all been conditioned to put ourselves last. Yet we only get one precious life, and it’s ours to live fully.

A breast cancer survivor recently reminded me how much of a privilege it is to grow older. That conversation grounded me.

So let’s live it together - with courage, curiosity, and compassion for ourselves.

If you’d like to share your dreams and desires for your next chapter, I’d love to hear from you.